i still do..

well, today stayed at home to complete tuition homework. andand, momo made us korean sushi! :) LOVE YA MOMo! michelle accompanied me to amkNPC to make police report. thanks la,girl. patheticlly, i'm still feeling red&pain. didn't manage to get a good slp. and thank michelle for sparing me that lotion. :) met up with momo and shauna at bishan. went to kfc for lunch and tuition after that. i am BURNT. and yes lynn deary, i'll be SO SO blacker than you. or maybe even danielle?? haha

while i'm going home after tuition, things kept running in my mind. why am i still acting so strong? can we be like how we used to be last time? i wished u didn't answer me.. i wished i hadn't ask you. i'd rather not know the truth than knowing it now. i'd rather carry on this one-sided affair. no matter how sorry you are, things won't be the same anymore. why did hope come to me? you once said, what woud happen if we _____? what do you mean? you just said those to comfort me? or is it that u really had feelings for me. when i asked, you said u had no feelings for me,then why these words? it's too late now. there's no way for me to turn back. i know i should have listened to the girls. but why did u give me false hope, and the feeling of being loved? you may not realise that there are actually alot of actions you did and words that you said unknowingly. Sometimes things just come by naturally without you knowing it yourself. you knew thati loved you,but did u love me back? i thought i felt it coming back to me,but i don't know. i couldn't decipher whether it is real, or it's just my own wishful thinking. i know i should stop deceiving myself.but that can't stop me from loving you, for this has gone down way too deep.._ 永得不到的愛_