sometimes, i'm just wondering whether who's my real friend? who'll be there for me when everyone else left me to be alone, standing down there. i can't deny the fact that mean girls treasure me. but do i treasure them as much? it seems like i'm the one running away from them. i'm afraid that history might repeat. and now, i just abhor the feeling of being alone. how would you feel if you saw pictures without you when you were with them? when everyone else is taking photo together and you were forgottem, how good you'll feel? and when outsiders ask why are you so quiet, what could you answer them? "i've got nothing to say." i can't possibly say "i feel left out. nobody's talking to me.." even your bff who's around you don't even talk to you. why should other people? when something happens to you then you get noticed. is this the kind of attention i'm looking for? why can't i just be someone whom you'll be looking for and feel weird without? i thought i've found my girlfriend. but then, maybe i'm not that important to her. it's always been me who've always sticked to her. what's wrong with me? with girls not okay, with guys also not okay. maybe i'm predestined to be a loner..



aha, i can't believe i've actually done that. i sleptover at a guy's house. =x first time, and its my love's hse. and that night, it was heavenly. but if he were to do that as my boyfriend, it'd be too good to be true. if i weren't drunk,i wouldnt have let him touched me. but then, i couldnt bear to push him away either. but then, e still hurt me unknowingly.. i'm not your girlfriend because of someone or sonething. "you should know why"... sighs. why do you have to do this to me again? haha. well, i know you dont like me. maybe its just the way you treat girls. just a little bit better to me than other girls. i just take it that i'm your girlfriend for that night. i just love seeing your face right in the first thing i wake up. if every morning could be like, i don't mind. (: and i just love the way you look at me , waiting for me to close my eyes. they way you sayang me, patting me on the bck, playing with my ears and hair. the way you hold me to slp, how i can have someone to protect me while im asleep. those kind of feeling... unexplainable. you get it? but would a normal guy friend treat a girl friend like this if he doesn't like her? just plainly looking at me falling asleep and protecting me while im asleep, you've stolen my heart away. i'm very sure this time. i thought i could let you go. and i'm starting to. but it all came back once again, i officially announce: "you've stolen my heart once again on o8o8o8." i wont forget this night, this wonderful night that you've given me. i don't care and it doesn't really matter what it is after that night. the fact is that, i love you..