today; woke up at abt 10am den watched tv eat breakfast. spent the whole morning wif my familee. watched tv together. we seldom did this. it's like one month ago since we did this? ya.. saddening. how busy my parents are.. Btw, today my mama birthday. 39th birthday. as i grow up each yr, my parents grow older each yr. tats the saddest part of having birthdays.SLACKED the whole day. read my sec 2 literature book. its nice. super nice. even brought it to the toilet with me. this shows how much i actually love books. den loaded songs into my fone again. den did the loading until night. watched tv, eat dinner without parents cos they went work again. i was thinking how sad it was to be workin when its ur birthday. i guess my mom have even forgotten her birthday. she's too busy to remember it. how sad. i haven even wished her happy birthday. i wanted to tell her; mummy, even though i sometime talk behind ur back, ur still my mom after all.. Happy birthday mom.Oh gosh.. im starting to have tears in my eyes le. im actually a very filial girl. but after p6, i changed somehow. now i feel like i've let down my parents somehow.. some things are just meant to be changed. i rmb tat time how worried she looked and how she scolded me. she found out abt my relationship between dan and me. she was so furious and heart broken. tats one of the things she forbidden me to do. havin to be in a relationship at such a young age. my love was strong then and i fought back wif my mom. we both cried. i talked and argued when crying and she scolded me and tears rolled down. i felt so guilty and angry tat time. i wanted my own love life and i too don wan my mom to be sad. but i just couldn do it. i continued the relationship behind my mom's back. wishin her to be happy and me myself happy. but there's no such good things in this world. either one would be gone.. and i was right.. god saw how greedy i was and sacrificed my love life. now im living single, with nothing to fear of. not afraid my mom would find out. i guess god thinks family is still more important.Family's still more important. now im living innocent, clean and pure. boyfriend still can find when lost but u cant find another mother who brought u up for 14 yrs from birth until now. there's no other ways to find another one when lost. so cherish ur parents, make them feel tat they're the happiest parents in this world. i failed to do this. i hope other parents would be happy. i noe i cant give my parents this much of happiness, but i'll give them wad i can.i always make them angry, make them scold me each day,but tats not wad i wanted too.its just my character changed. im not ur old irene. the very guai, very filial and courteous irene. i've changed. change to the one always wif a black face at home. ignoring everyone. always not smiling. i just cant help it. but in my heart, i don feel it tat way. i still love my parents, and everyone. but i just cant listen to u. i dunno y.. but i'll try my best to be good. I LOVE MY MOM. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. i love my dad too.

wishin upon the stars*