sighs. yesterday didnt post. cos i everytime post at night den parents not at home mah.. but yest parents off day so bring us out for dinner loh.. yest went courts den looked at the mp3s.. now considering iPOD video, zen neeon,iPOD nano. i wan iPOD video.. but papa says its too expensive.. $500++. so he say most likely buy iPOD nano.. but zen neeon nicer..can change pattern.. but nvm lah.. got iPOD nano already good enough.. 1st mp3 already nano.. very lucky.. dinner, ate beef noodles.. kakak first one to eat cos her muslim food easier to buy.. after dinner we went arcade.. den my parents also played.. its was damn funny seeing them play.. daytona i lost to my mei.. but nvm.. i last time won her.. now let her win a while nvm de.. im a very understanding person. see her small let her win ONCE.these kind of jie very difficult to find nowadays.goin extinct. hahas. den after arcade we went courts see things den go home.. now got xtra family member (maid), the car not enough space to sit. so actually should be kakak and me go home by bus. but i dun like to be alone wif her. so my mama like kinda hot tempered den walked off, meaning she take bus wif me. den i always like to walk alone leaving others behind den my mama not happy. den scold me loh. say see her also acted like dunno her lidat.. im lidat de mah.. wad do u expect.. sighs.. den waited for bus.. den in bus, the bus driver de wife came up the bus and scold him.. its so embarassing.. luckily not many passengers on bus.. the wife also scold him like hell loh.. i think is scold abt wrong shift or wad.. cant understand cos they talked in canto. after tat reached home, played poker wif di mei and mama. den later he smsed me. Now den i realise how much i love him.. its not tat easy to forget him.. i found out tat i still love him even though i said i've gotten over it.. it still have had a wound.. cant heal tat fast.. He wanted to patch.. like i've said. i decided to give him another chance.. becos i still love him.. theres no way im gonna change the fact. but when we smsed, its like he called me a 'bulldog'. i so hated it.. sometimes for fun nvm but when talkin abt serious things go play.. of cos not appropriate.den i sorta told him off den he say wad ask me go die, ask me shut up. blocking my speech and end wif i wan to go slp. den its like im so fed up. den i said; if ur really serious abt it den tats great. but if ur not den continue ur slp. i said tat cos im so fed up tat moment. sighs. TODAY; band in the morning.as in whole day. NCC having annual camp. ms chen was NCC IC. i didnt noe tat. the teacher who praised me. gheez.. den its like we colourguards did ballet from 9-12. its like.. slack slack slack.. after lunch we did strokes.. den also like a bit slack lah.. its like very tiring.. boring... keep doin the same strokes over and over again.. until the sir told us tat our standard still not there yet.. we were already worn out.. den everubody like sian sian lidat den of cos the strokes not nice lah.. sighs.. OVERALL; tiring. boring. sighs. i think i need to be alone these few days. i was so NOT myself during band today. everybody was like: irene! u today ok mah? how come so quiet? not ur usual self. usually the whole room will be filled of ur voice den now so quiet.. u sure u ok? most of my band mates were like askin this question.. am i tat noisy usually? i was like so sad today.. im so confused. so frustrated. i really dunno wad to do.. i almost cried when i think of the times.. its always so hurting.. saddening.. but wad i really wished was to go back lah. its would be my happiest day.. im waiting for tat chance to come.. the future awaits me... wishin upon the stars*